What’s Your Writing (Resistance) Story?

February 21, 2012

It’s not a new idea: I just heard it in a new way.

In Oprah’s Next Chapter, life coach Tony Robbins says, “We are defined by the stories we tell ourselves… Is your story empowering you… or is your story causing you to fall short?”

I wondered, “What story am I telling myself about my writing?”

Almost immediately, I heard this voice inside my head say, “I’m not ready.”

And immediately after that, I heard “Well you better get ready!”

You Can’t Give Yourself a Guarantee of Success, But You Can Give Yourself a Guarantee of Failure

Limiting life stories are at the heart of most writing resistance. There’s no guarantee that rewriting your story will forever banish writer’s resistance, but it’s a certainty that if you don’t rewrite the story that holds you back, the resistance you face will be harder to move through.

I know there’s no guarantee that if I get ready, my book will reach the thousands and thousands of writer-readers I want to help. But there is a guarantee that if I don’t get ready, I will not be able to effectively share what I’ve learned with all the writers who could benefit from it.

If I fall back into telling myself I’m not ready, that I don’t how to promote my book, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know which of the many options I should pursue first, I don’t have the contacts and resources I need, then Around the Writer’s Block‘s pub date of August 2 will come and go without my book having the impact it could have.

What I do know is I need to get ready. So everyday from today until August 2, I will take at least one action a day to get ready for my book to reach and support as many writers as possible. (If you’re curious about what I did today, I asked my agent about getting review copies to the people who plan writers’ conferences.)

But I really hope you focus your curiosity, not on what I’m doing, but on asking yourself these questions:

  • “What is the story I tell myself about my writing?
  • “Does this story empower me as a writer?”
  • “What would be an even better story to tell myself about my writing?”

Please share your story in a comment.


Sidestep Writer’s Resistance with the Willingness to Suck

February 17, 2012

shitty first draftI shared a Wall Poster on my Facebook page with the “Nobody tells this to people who are beginners…” quote from Ira Glass that’s making the rounds right now. If you’re getting started as a writer, the advice is right on target. If you’ve been writing awhile, it’s an excellent reminder. If you haven’t seen the quote yet or if you want a reminder, here it is.

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

“A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

I respectfully disagree with Mr. Glass only about the suggestion to finish a story a week – that kind of pressure can be the source of resistance, even full-fledged writer’s block. You do need to write often and a lot, but I still think the best way to do that is with the 15 Magic Minutes.

“What If It’s No Good?”

Far too many writers get stopped with the thought “What if it’s no good?” This isn’t all that surprising since we learned to write in grade school and writing is associated with school more than any other creative pursuit. And what did we learn in grade school? That you’re supposed to get the answer right the first time. You’re either right or wrong. If you’re not sure you’re right, the best strategy is to shut up until you are sure. Which translates to “I better wait until I know what I write will be good.” The longer you wait, the better the writing has to be to justify the length of time you waited.

The problem is the only way to write something good is to start writing no-so-good stuff, get your shitty first draft done and then revise. Of course in school no one ever rewards you for a shitty first effort; people think you’re stupid if your first effort is anything less than perfect.

You just have to be willing to suck for awhile. Actually you have to be willing have your first efforts suck forever. Even when you’re an experienced writer who’s practiced the 10,000 hours Malcolm Gladwell observed it takes to achieve mastery, your first drafts will still be shitty.

So what are you waiting for? Go write some crap. The sooner you put in your time, the sooner you get through the phase where everything you write is crap and move to the place where your first drafts are shitty, but there’s hope for your second drafts, promise in your third drafts, real potential in the fourth drafts and so on until your final drafts are finally good.


Falling Into – And Out of – Writing

February 9, 2012

In an interview with The Paris Review, James Thurber said, “I never quite know when I’m not writing.

“Sometimes my wife comes up to me at a party and says, ‘Dammit Thurber, stop writing.’ She usually catches me in the middle of a paragraph. Or my daughter will look up from the dinner table and ask, ‘Is he sick?’ ‘No,’ my wife says, ‘he’s writing something.’”

We can “write” in our heads while we’re driving, working out, at the dinner table or lying in bed drifting off to sleep. We can work out a piece’s structure or imagine a crisper specific detail while we’re doing the dishes, knitting, playing with clay or shoveling snow. It’s said that everything is grist for the writer’s mill, so in a sense, we’re always doing research. It seems that writers can work anytime, anywhere.

Potato, Potahto, Tomato, Tomahto

This is one reason I use the phrase “Product Time” instead of “writing time.” Despite the portability of a writer’s true office – her or his brain – the image most associated with “writing time” involves fingers on a keyboard or pen on paper, and there is so much more to it than that.

I define Product Time as time you invest in moving a writing project forward. What activities will be most effective for you to do during your Product Time depends on which stage of the creative process you’re in. (I explain the stages of the creative process in depth in Around the Writer’s Block; if you don’t want to wait until August to get a copy of the book, we also discuss this in my Writing Habit class which starts March 12.)

Sometimes Product Time is staring out the window, wondering “What if…” and “Why not…” Sometimes Product Time is brainstorming, freewriting, mind mapping or making collages (of characters, setting, plot, images, etc.). Sometimes it’s doing research – in a library, online, with an expert in person or via telephone or Skype, or even riding a mule into the layered depths of the Grand Canyon if you end up writing about the Grand Canyon. Sometimes Product Time is even drafting, revising and editing. This list isn’t complete; Product Time (what Thurber called “writing”) can be so much more diverse.

So When Are You Not Writing?

This makes it difficult to distinguish when you actually are and are not, in Thurber’s sense of the word, “writing.” Especially when you can’t always tell in the moment whether you’re just living life or doing research. For example, snorkeling scenes are significant in my novella, but when I was snorkeling in Hawaii four years ago, I had no idea I was doing research. Is it right to call that snorkeling trip research? Or was my later recall and recollection of the experience (via notes I made in my fish spotter’s journal) the real research?

If we can fall into “writing” in a Thurberesque way – while we’re driving, pretending to listen, walking the dog or vacuuming the living room – how do we know when we’re writing/doing Product Time and when we’re not? And if we can fall into writing/Product Time, can we also fall out?

We’ll explore this further in my next post, but until then, consider these questions:

  • When and how do you fall into writing/Product Time?
  • When and how do you fall out?

Don’t Let Writer’s Resistance Stop You — Soldier On

February 7, 2012

Nothing will block you faster than an expectation that your first draft should be good

Do you think you have to write something good, that if you’re going to take the time to sit down and write, you should produce something worthwhile? And by good, most of us mean perfect or almost perfect, logical, fascinating, funny, grammatically correct, sexy, grab-the-reader-by-the-throat thrilling, coherent, deep and wise and inspirational – despite the fact that some of those qualities are contradictory.

Expectations that your writing should be good are an all-too-common source of resistance. So I’m delighted to introduce today’s guest blogger, Lois Greiman, author of over 30 novels, to dispel the myth that writing has be good. At least at first.

Soldiering On by Lois Greiman

For me and a lot of writers, it’s a constant struggle to believe in myself long enough to get anything done. Oh sure, I have times when I think, “Hot damn, this is the best thing ever written. This is fabulous. Better than fabulous. This is unique. This is too good for publication.” Those times generally last about thirty-two seconds or long enough for me to sit down at the computer. After which I topple into despair. I know I’m a hack or a has-been, or even worse…a never-will-be. But… Glory be! I have a solution.

Here’s what I do: Every morning after feeding my menagerie of farmyard friends, I go for a run, brew myself a little tea, chant, “I don’t suck, I don’t suck, I don’t suck,” four hundred times, and settle into my work chair. That’s it. That’s the entirety of my secret. I sit down, I put my fingers on the keyboard and I write something.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t write anything good. Nothing noteworthy or hopeful or even remotely creative. But I do write. I have a goal for the day and I meet my goal. Generally, it’s 10 pages of rough draft every twenty-four hours. And when I say rough draft, don’t underestimate the roughness. Think cat’s tongue rough, extra coarse sandpaper rough. That first attempt is barely legible. If someone read it, I would, in fact, have to change my name and take a lifetime vow of silence. But day after day and week after week it gets written.

I don’t edit. I don’t second guess. I don’t whine. (Okay, that last one was a total lie. I whine all the time. But nobody listens anymore so it hardly even counts.) What I do is soldier on…through the terrible dialogue that makes me want to weep for my lack of creativity, past the nonexistent scenery, over the plot holes as big as battle ships…on. And voila, after about forty days of this dogged, but totally uninspired soldiering, I am rewarded with 400 pages of …drivel.

Rewarded with Drivel

I mean seriously, did you expect it to be good? No. It’s awful. Worse than awful. It’s nonsensical. Because without fail when I was writing page 77, I discovered that I hated my hero’s name. Who ever thought the male lead should be called Kismet? I’m obviously deranged. But do I go back and name him something manly and dynamic like…King George? I do not. I remind myself of my cardinal rule: no edits shall be done until the first draft is complete. Do I go back to page 83 to add the gun with which Kisment will shoot Destiny on page 122? I do not.

I soldier on until I have a first draft, a literary backbone, if you will. Granted, it’s a weak backbone. It has scoliosis and rickets and some osteoporosis, but it’s still a backbone and once I have that, I can move on. I can inject a little calcium into the vertebrae, add flesh and muscle and pigment. I can shape and hone. I can change my poor misbegotten hero’s name for God’s sake.

So there it is, the entirety to my secret. It’s not very exciting. Not very sexy. In actuality, it’s pretty painful, but I’m willing to hack up 400 pages of drivel if it’ll get me one step closer to a polished manuscript. So I dare you to try it. Be brave, be committed, sit down and write 400 pages of slop. Because really, writers have to write. It’s what we do. And it’s better than having to change your name. I mean really, what if you can’t think of anything better than ‘Kismet?’

Lois Greiman is the author of Uncorked, the 7th book in the Chrissy McMullen mystery series, She invites you to follow her on Twitter or on Facebook at either www.Facebook.com/Lois.greiman or www.Facebook.com/chrissymcmullenmysteries and to visit her website just for the fun of it.


Don’t Just Reduce Resistance, Savor Life!

January 12, 2012

Savor Life collage by Rosanne Bane

On New Year’s Eve, I walked a labyrinth while meditating on what I wanted to let go of and what I wanted to embrace in 2012. At first, I thought “I want to stop being so reactive. I want to respond to difficult people and situations with equanimity.” Then I thought “Equanimity is all well and good, but it could get a little boring. I want more than equanimity – I want to savor life.”

Savoring life will enrich my writing (how can we expect to write well if we’re not paying attention), improve my health and deepen my relationships and sense of wel-lbeing.

So I’ve been thinking of 2012 as the Year to Savor Life. But I may have to rethink that.

As It Turns Out…

Savoring, it turns out, is a lot of work.

Yesterday, I decided that I would not only eat my breakfast mindfully (which I talked about in the Mindful Eating = Mindful Writing post), I would savor life by mindfully eating anything I put in my mouth. That meant I needed to turn off the TV every time I ate a corn chip. Step away from the computer for lunch. Close the book and put away my collage-making or writing to eat a snack. It meant I had to refrain from everything else and focus on the food I was eating.

Food, it turns out, is not as interesting as I thought. Paying attention to food is the opposite of what I’ve done nearly all my life. I’ve used food as a way to numb out and be intentionally unconscious. I used food to go to sleep even when my eyes were open. It’s my own little “zombie-Rosanne-making” technique that I discovered when I was 12 years old and my dad died.

After I finished eating breakfast mindfully, paying attention to each bite and swallow, part of my brain was jumpy from the lack of distraction. I was going through “distraction withdrawal”. Another part of my brain was exquisitely satisfied though. I suspect this part of my brain was the driving force for both the urge to write and my showing up to satisfy that urge.

Hardest Game in Town

As one of my mentors was fond of saying, “Being conscious is the hardest game in town.” It doesn’t matter what you choose to pay attention to – focusing your attention is hard work.

The upside is that no matter what you choose to pay attention to, you get the benefits of that effort in all areas of your life – including your writing. The more you practice paying attention, the easier it becomes to pay attention. (The reverse of this is also true, the more you splinter your attention, the harder it is to pay attention when you want to.)

As you learn to sustain your attention and be conscious for longer periods of time, your thinking gets clearer, steadier and more creative. I’ve learned that developing our capacity for conscious attention reduces writing resistance and gives us the strength to get through the resistance when it does arise.

But there is no easy way to gain these payoffs. The only way to get the benefits of paying attention is to pay attention.

Who Do I Think I’m Kidding?

I’m waking up to the fact that “I want to savor life!” was a euphemism my spirit used to lure my ego into trying consciousness. Sneaky bastard.

And then ego-me went and told everyone “2012 is the year I savor life,” so now I’m committed. At least until everyone forgets the whole “New Year’s resolutions, brand new year, new start, new goals” thing, my Saboteur whispers. If my Saboteur has its way, I’ll be back to shoving food into my mouth with my left hand while my right hand is clicking the TV remote by February. My Saboteur has used lured me into this behavior as a starting point for significant writing resistance in the past.

I don’t intend to let my Saboteur have its way. I’m sure I’ll forget the commitment to eat mindfully sometimes, perhaps even rebel against the commitment from time to time. (Thinking “Who do I think I am, telling me what to do?” is a sure sign the Saboteur is trying to mess me up.)

When that happens, I’ll be compassionate with myself. I’ll acknowledge that paying attention is hard work and remember I don’t have to be perfect, just willing to start over. Like I do in meditation, I’ll redirect my attention back to my original intention without judgment. I’ll recognize the Saboteur at work – “Oh, that’s my Saboteur” – and since my Saboteur always lies, I’ll ignore it. I’ll be firm with myself and affirm that even though paying attention is hard, I can do hard. I’ll remember that I am someone who honors her commitments.

I also give myself permission to change the commitment – but only in advance, not in the moment. “Starting tomorrow, my commitment changes” is a conscious choice; “This time it won’t matter if I don’t do what I said I’d do” is the Saboteur speaking.

I’ve decided to stick with this challenge of eating mindfully.

What is your spirit luring you to pay attention to? What are you willing to do mindfully?


Beyond New Year Resolutions to New Year Vision

January 10, 2012

Even Mercedes-Benz recognizes the significance of serving both sides of the brain, as evidenced in their Left Brain - Right Brain ads.

What’s your vision for your writing and the rest of your life in 2012? And not a boring, corporate-like planning and strategy session — a real vision.

Sure you need to ask those logical, linear, pragmatic questions that the left hemisphere knows are important. But you also need to invite the right hemisphere to play too, if you want a truly creative vision.

Questions for Your Left Brain

  • What do you want to do in 2012?
  • What accomplishments will you be most proud of when you review 2012 next January?
  • What specific action can you take to make sure you reach these accomplishments?
  • What habits do you want to add in 2012?
  • What habits do you want to maintain in 2012?
  • What beliefs and behaviors would you like to abandon in 2012?
  • What do you want to learn in 2012?
  • What is the biggest opportunity for you in 2012?
  • What is the biggest risk for you in 2012?
  • Who or what do you want to serve in 2012?

You’ll want to write responses to these questions for your left brain. Be as formal or informal with your writing as you wish; you can freewrite, journal, outline, draft an essay or create a project plan.

Questions for Your Right Brain

  • Who do you want to be in 2012?
  • What sensory experiences do you want in 2012?
    What do you want to see? What do you want to hear?
    What do you want to smell? What do you want to taste?
    What do you want to touch and feel?
  • What emotions do you want to feel in 2012?
  • What do you want to create in 2012? What do you want to bring into your life and into the world?
  • How do you want to experience time in 2012?
  • How do you want to grow spiritually in 2012?
  • What objects, people or phrases symbolize what you hope for in 2012?
  • What is the theme of 2012?  What’s your theme song for 2012? What’s your motto? What will you name 2012? The Year of ….
  • Who do you need to be to bring this vision to reality?

I highly recommend collecting objects and images as you think about responses to these questions for the right brain. Collaging is a great way to explore the connections between the objects, ideas and images you’ll discover with these questions.

A Challenge for the Whole Brain

Another cool brain-based ad from Mercedes-Benz

Use the Mercedes-Benz ad as inspiration for how you can bring the responses from your two brains together. Combine your written responses to the questions for the left brain with the collage you create in response to the questions for the right brain.

I’d love to see what you come up with. Please email a pdf to me or post your combined response on your Facebook wall and leave a comment here to direct us to it.


Dancing with Your Eyes Open

January 5, 2012

The song “Dancing Through Life” from the musical Wicked keeps running through my head this morning. I love the light melody juxtaposed to the satire of the lyrics:

“Dancing through life,

Swaying and sweeping and always keeping cool,

Life is fraughtless when you’re thoughtless,

Those who don’t try never look foolish…”

At the same time, I keep thinking about Japanese director Akira Kurosawa’s observation that “To be an artist means never to avert your eyes.”

“Don’t try, don’t look foolish” versus “Don’t avert your eyes”

Resistance sometimes comes from the desire to not look foolish; it always comes from the desire to not see.

When we feel resistance in any form, it’s because we haven’t fully committed to seeing what’s true. We want to be thoughtless so life can be fraughtless. We want to avert our eyes. There are painful truths we don’t want to know we know.

But the resistance, the very thing you struggle with and perhaps wish would disappear, is actually your saving grace.

As long as you feel resistance, you haven’t given up. If even the smallest part of you still wants to write, that crucial part isn’t willing to just dance through life. You don’t really want to, as the song suggests, “Stop studying strife and learn to live the unexamined life.”

You can’t help but look. Maybe you can’t look very long, but you can’t stop trying. As you build your capacity to look longer and longer before you avert your eyes, you build your capacity to be the artist you were born to be.

Here’s the kicker, when you learn to look long and hard, when you learn to really see, you see that – amidst the pain, fear and strife you want to avert your eyes from – there is beauty, music and joy.

You still want to dance. You dance, not to avoid reality, but to embrace life fully. You dance with your eyes open.

Shall we?


Abandon New Year Resolutions

January 3, 2012

Rosanne's 2012 Vision Collage

New Year Resolutions are worse than a waste of time. Depending on what statistics and studies you look at, anywhere from 78% to 92% of the people who make resolutions fail to keep them.

New Year Resolutions train you to break promises to yourself, which is the opposite of what writers who want to move through resistance need to do. We need to know we can trust ourselves.

We need to know that when we make a commitment to write, we will keep it No Matter What. That’s why I recommend short commitments for Product Time – no more than 15 minutes – so you consistently honor them no matter what else happens.

If you haven’t made New Year Resolutions, you’re ahead of the game. If you’ve already made New Year Resolutions, I encourage you to officially cancel them (so that you don’t end up eventually breaking a promise to yourself). Replace resolutions with something far more likely to lead you to the satisfaction of success.

Instead of resolutions, create a New Vision for the coming year.

New Year, New Vision

You don’t need promises you expect to break; you need a vision to guide you.

Start by identifying what you want to experience in 2012. What do you want to accomplish? What skills do you want to develop? What do you want to explore and what do you want to discover? What are you willing to let go and what do you want to embrace?

Use specific, sensory-rich words to respond to the previous questions. Describe what you want to see, hear, taste, smell and feel physically and emotionally.

  • What colors and shapes do you want to predominate in your life in 2012?
  • What sounds do you resonate with? What’s your theme song for 2012?
  • What flavors and scents do you want to enjoy in 2012?
  • What do you want to touch and hold in 2012?
  • What emotions do you want to prevail in 2012?

Gather pictures and objects that represent what you want to experience this year. Create a collage or sculpture or give the pictures and objects places of honor in your writing space.

Step back from the specific, sensory details and focus on the big picture. If you hold true to the vision, what will 2012 be for you? Name your year. For me, 2012 is the Year to Relish Life.

What will 2012 be for you?


Tricks of Tracking #4: Focus on Facts

December 29, 2011

Detective Joe Friday knew how to track: Focus on facts.

When you track Process, Self-Care and Product Time, keep your attention on two facts: “This is what I said I’d do. This is what I did.”

One of the benefits of tracking is that the feedback allows you to recognize changes in your patterns and decide what action to take to stay on track (or get back on track) and moving in the direction you want to go.

Judgment denies you this benefit. You can’t discern patterns and trends if you’ve leaped to judging the data. Judgments, either positive or negative, make it impossible to see what’s really happening.

Negative judgments include thoughts or comments like:

  • “I had a bad week (or a terrible week).”
  • “I’m disappointed (or frustrated, disgusted, etc.) with what I did this week.”
  • “I didn’t do well this week at all.”
  • “This was a tough week.”
  • “I was too busy and let other things get in the way.”
  • “I’m really bad at this.”
  • “I could have/should have done better.”

Positive judgments include:

  •  “I had a good week (or a great week).”
  • “I’m really happy (or satisfied, proud, etc.) with what I did this week.”
  • “I did really well this week.”
  • “This was a productive week.”
  • “It was easy to make time for my writing.”
  • “I’m really getting good at this.”

These positive judgements are fun to make and you can claim any of these LATER. But first, track your progress for the week. As you do that, make no evaluations. Make no excuses. Don’t go into long stories or explanations.

When you notice that you’re judging or making excuses (and you probably will continue to do this as you retrain your thinking), acknowledge the mistake, “Oops, that’s a judgement. That’s not what I need.” In other words, don’t judge yourself for judging. Redirect your attention to the facts: what you said you would do and what you actually did.

Once you’ve identified the facts, you can and should celebrate your accomplishments. Even if your judgement would be negative (if you were letting yourself judge), even if you need to make adjustments, the fact that you’re tracking is reason to celebrate. Give yourself credit for what you did, identify what action you want to take in the coming week to either correct the course or maintain your momentum, and keep going! And keep tracking where and how you go.


Tricks of Tracking #3: Set, Ready, Go!

December 27, 2011

Your tracking system should highlight two questions: “What will I do?” (as you set your intention) and “What did I do?” (after you go into action).

Even though your tracking system may not highlight it, the “ready” between the “set” and the “go” is equally important.

Set Yourself!

At the beginning of the week, set your intentions in whatever tracking chart, table or tool you’re using. For each day of the coming week, record what you are committing to do (for Process, Self-Care or Product Time or some other activity).

Be sure to set zero intentions on your days off; for example, record “0 minutes for Process” on the days you don’t intend to do Process. That way when you do 0 minutes on that day, you know you’ve honored your intention (not “slacked off” or “missed” or any other pejorative phrase your Saboteur might try to use against you.)

Setting intention is vital. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but the road to limbo is paved with no intentions. As the Caterpillar tells Alice in Wonderland, “If you don’t know where you are going, it really doesn’t matter which road you take.”

Ready Yourself!

When you know where you want to go and what you intend to do, you need to prepare yourself to go there and do that. Make sure you have the resources you’ll need.

Reserve time in your calendar to do what you commit to.

Make sure you have the supplies – it’s pretty hard to honor your commitment to play with clay for 15 minutes for Process on Tuesday, for example, if you don’t have any clay to play with. You either need to get clay before Tuesday or change your intention to a Process activity you already have supplies for.

Give yourself enough options to be flexible, but not so many options you don’t know where to start. Have maybe three or four things to play with for Process, but don’t spend all your Process time wandering around trying to figure out what to play with. Keep in mind that if you’re sick or injured, what you do for Self-Care needs to change (from working out to taking a nap for example). Remember that any activity that needs to be done to complete a writing project counts as Product Time.

Go Track Yourself!

Ideally, your next step is to do what you intended to do (and as you develop and strengthen your habits, you will do what you intend more and more often). Whether you honor the commitment or not, record what you actually did right after you do it. If you don’t do anything, record “0 minutes” at the end of the day.

Be specific and factual. (“Tuesday: Played with clay for 15 minutes” for example or “Tuesday: Spent 5 minutes looking for clay, didn’t find any.”) As we’ll explore in the upcoming Tricks of Tracking #4, it’s vital to focus on facts and avoid judgment.


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