Who Said That?

January 31, 2012

who said that?“My Preciousssss.”

“Book em Danno.”

“What’s up Doc?”

“Just the facts Mam.”

“Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night.”

“D’oh!”

“To be or not to be…”

“How YOU doin?”

Can you spot the two anomalies in these Catch Phrases?

While you’re pondering that, I’ll distract your eye from the answers to that question, by identifying the speakers of the catch phrases listed: Gollum, Steve McGarrett (both vintage and contemporary), Bugs Bunny, Detective Joe Friday, SNL hosts, Homer Simpson, Hamlet and Joey Tribbiani.

I’ll go out on a limb and argue that “To be or not to be…” is not a catch phrase. Certainly, it’s famous; you know who said it and it reflects the character’s true nature. But Hamlet did not run around the castle saying “To be or not to be…” all the time. Some people may disagree (and they’re entitled to comment below or write their own blogs), but for my purposes, a catch phrase is something that’s repeated often enough to immediately call to mind the character who delivers the line.

I’ll also argue that “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night” is not a catch phrase because although it’s repeated every week, it’s said by a different person each week.

Two Catch Phrase Challenges

Your first challenge is just for fun: Tell us your favorite catch phrase in a comment here on my blog or on my Around the Writer’s Block Facebook page.

Your second challenge will help you reduce writing resistance: Identify your Saboteur’s catch phrase. What is the thing your Saboteur says often enough that you can start recognizing that it’s your Saboteur talking? This may take a little longer to figure out than the first challenge, and it’s worth the time and effort.

My Saboteur often whispers “It won’t matter if just this once… Tomorrow I’ll…” It also utters variations on the theme of “It’s not good enough. It’s not perfect. It’s too… (too simple, too complex, too long, too short…).”

Freewriting is one way to recognize your Saboteur’s favorite phrases (a.k.a. forms of attack). What do you say to either let yourself off the hook for not writing today or to keep yourself on the hook of endless revising, never moving forward, never being good enough?

Another way is to recall the inner dialogue you had running through your head the last time you felt unworthy, unrecognized, unprepared, inadequate or “less than” in any way. What do you say to yourself to make yourself unhappy about your writing? Your Saboteur’s favorite forms of attack are there.

Once you recognize your Saboteur’s catch phrases, you can tell yourself, “That’s my Saboteur talking, and since it always lies and never has my best interests at heart, I can just ignore it and go back to my writing.” The Saboteur doesn’t go away, but you stop letting it push you away from the writing you want to do.

When you figure it out, please post a comment with your Saboteur’s catch phrase. Laughing about the Saboteur in public helps deflate its power. Writers who are struggling to identify the voice of their Saboteur can get a lot of insight from reading what other writers attribute to the Saboteur, so please share!

 


Don’t Just Reduce Resistance, Savor Life!

January 12, 2012

Savor Life collage by Rosanne Bane

On New Year’s Eve, I walked a labyrinth while meditating on what I wanted to let go of and what I wanted to embrace in 2012. At first, I thought “I want to stop being so reactive. I want to respond to difficult people and situations with equanimity.” Then I thought “Equanimity is all well and good, but it could get a little boring. I want more than equanimity – I want to savor life.”

Savoring life will enrich my writing (how can we expect to write well if we’re not paying attention), improve my health and deepen my relationships and sense of wel-lbeing.

So I’ve been thinking of 2012 as the Year to Savor Life. But I may have to rethink that.

As It Turns Out…

Savoring, it turns out, is a lot of work.

Yesterday, I decided that I would not only eat my breakfast mindfully (which I talked about in the Mindful Eating = Mindful Writing post), I would savor life by mindfully eating anything I put in my mouth. That meant I needed to turn off the TV every time I ate a corn chip. Step away from the computer for lunch. Close the book and put away my collage-making or writing to eat a snack. It meant I had to refrain from everything else and focus on the food I was eating.

Food, it turns out, is not as interesting as I thought. Paying attention to food is the opposite of what I’ve done nearly all my life. I’ve used food as a way to numb out and be intentionally unconscious. I used food to go to sleep even when my eyes were open. It’s my own little “zombie-Rosanne-making” technique that I discovered when I was 12 years old and my dad died.

After I finished eating breakfast mindfully, paying attention to each bite and swallow, part of my brain was jumpy from the lack of distraction. I was going through “distraction withdrawal”. Another part of my brain was exquisitely satisfied though. I suspect this part of my brain was the driving force for both the urge to write and my showing up to satisfy that urge.

Hardest Game in Town

As one of my mentors was fond of saying, “Being conscious is the hardest game in town.” It doesn’t matter what you choose to pay attention to – focusing your attention is hard work.

The upside is that no matter what you choose to pay attention to, you get the benefits of that effort in all areas of your life – including your writing. The more you practice paying attention, the easier it becomes to pay attention. (The reverse of this is also true, the more you splinter your attention, the harder it is to pay attention when you want to.)

As you learn to sustain your attention and be conscious for longer periods of time, your thinking gets clearer, steadier and more creative. I’ve learned that developing our capacity for conscious attention reduces writing resistance and gives us the strength to get through the resistance when it does arise.

But there is no easy way to gain these payoffs. The only way to get the benefits of paying attention is to pay attention.

Who Do I Think I’m Kidding?

I’m waking up to the fact that “I want to savor life!” was a euphemism my spirit used to lure my ego into trying consciousness. Sneaky bastard.

And then ego-me went and told everyone “2012 is the year I savor life,” so now I’m committed. At least until everyone forgets the whole “New Year’s resolutions, brand new year, new start, new goals” thing, my Saboteur whispers. If my Saboteur has its way, I’ll be back to shoving food into my mouth with my left hand while my right hand is clicking the TV remote by February. My Saboteur has used lured me into this behavior as a starting point for significant writing resistance in the past.

I don’t intend to let my Saboteur have its way. I’m sure I’ll forget the commitment to eat mindfully sometimes, perhaps even rebel against the commitment from time to time. (Thinking “Who do I think I am, telling me what to do?” is a sure sign the Saboteur is trying to mess me up.)

When that happens, I’ll be compassionate with myself. I’ll acknowledge that paying attention is hard work and remember I don’t have to be perfect, just willing to start over. Like I do in meditation, I’ll redirect my attention back to my original intention without judgment. I’ll recognize the Saboteur at work – “Oh, that’s my Saboteur” – and since my Saboteur always lies, I’ll ignore it. I’ll be firm with myself and affirm that even though paying attention is hard, I can do hard. I’ll remember that I am someone who honors her commitments.

I also give myself permission to change the commitment – but only in advance, not in the moment. “Starting tomorrow, my commitment changes” is a conscious choice; “This time it won’t matter if I don’t do what I said I’d do” is the Saboteur speaking.

I’ve decided to stick with this challenge of eating mindfully.

What is your spirit luring you to pay attention to? What are you willing to do mindfully?


Still Lazy After All These Years?

October 19, 2011

Some writers don’t realize that they’ve got writer’s resistance. They think they’re lazy or undisciplined, untalented or don’t really want to write.

All of this is Saboteur-speak, the self-destructive lies we tell ourselves when we’re in the clutches of the Saboteur.

It’s important to recognize resistance for what it is: natural, normal and most importantly, completely solvable.

Still Resisting After All These Years?

Some of you may think that changing the question from “Still lazy?” to “Still resisting?” doesn’t improve matters much.  You might think that the key part of the phrase is “after all these years.” You might worry that since you haven’t done all the writing you want to do by now, it’s not going to happen. Let me assure you there is a solution and there is time to apply it.

I get sad when I think about how many talented people give up their writing dreams because they didn’t understand resistance. You don’t have to be one of those people.

Even if it’s been years since you’ve written the way you want, you can let go of disappointment and come back to writing. You just need to learn to accept and resolve your resistance.

Accept Resistance?

Yes, that’s right. You have to recognize and accept resistance before you can transform it.

So you’re resistant. So what? I’m resistant too. After all these years, I still face resistance almost every time I sit down to write. The difference is that now I sit down anyway. I do what I promised myself I’d do because I know that resistance is a normal state, not something to be feared or a sign that something’s wrong.

It’s an unspoken take-off checklist. “Computer on? Check. File open? Check. Feeling resistance? Check. Write anyway. Check.”

When I’m in the research stage, it’s “Resource available? Check. Pen in hand? Check. Feeling resistance? Check. Research anyway. Check.”

When I’m in a discovery stage, it’s “Paper and markers handy? Check. Central idea for brainstorming? Check. Feeling resistance? Check. Mind-map or cluster or freewrite anyway. Check.”

Not sure exactly what to do? It doesn’t matter. Just do something to get started. Once you’re in motion, you’ll figure it out. If that doesn’t work for you, post a Comment to ask a question and I’ll help you. If it does work, post a Comment to tell us and we’ll all congratulate you.


Pass the Critic

September 13, 2011

Susan, a student in my Entering the Flow class this summer, mentioned a great exercise she’d done in Rebecca Kanner’s single-session Loft class, Silencing the Inner Critic. I thought the exercise sounded like a brilliant way to see the Saboteur from a different perspective and asked Rebecca to write a guest post about it. Here is her gracious reply.

Pass Your Critic to the Person on Your Right: Guest Post by Loft Teaching Artist Rebecca Kanner

If you’ve spent any amount of time staring at a blank piece of paper, hiding or destroying your writing, or cringing at even the thought of writing, you know your inner critic is your own worst enemy. Could your inner critic also be someone else’s worst enemy?

In my Silencing the Inner Critic course, I have each writer pass her critic’s list of demands to the person on her right. “But don’t get too excited,” I say. “A new list of demands is coming to you from the person on your left.”

After the demands are identified, listed and passed, everyone gets five minutes to “freewrite.” But of course, there’s no freedom when you have to try to live up to someone else’s critic. There’s nothing like watching someone’s expression as they look at your critic’s list of demands, knowing they have to live with them as they write for the next five minutes. Imagine how much more horrified they would be if they were told they had to live with these demands for the rest of their lives.

Afterwards we discuss the critics we encountered. We gain a new understanding of other writers’ struggles and our own. We realize we are not alone with the crazy critic. When we can see how outrageous the demands made by someone else’s inner critic are and how impossible it would be to write within those constraints, we can see through our own inner critic.

Seeing the damage our inner critic has inflicted motivates us to put forth the necessary work to exorcise him. It’s easy to tell yourself you can limp along with him on your back a little while longer, but when you see someone else limping under his unwieldy weight, you realize how much he’s held you back from realizing your true potential.

The good news is no one has to live with your inner critic’s demands—not even you!

The first step is to identify your inner critic. Who is he, and why does he demand perfection? Do you subconsciously believe that he saves you from being vulnerable or making a fool of yourself? What are you really afraid of?

Your Chance to Give It Away

If you’d like the opportunity to silence your inner critic (aka Saboteur), Rebecca’s Silencing the Inner Critic class on October 1 from 1 to 4 pm will give you allies and encouragement as you answer these questions, find ways to exorcise the negative voices from your head and learn the wisdom of revising later in the writing process. Visit the Loft’s website or call 612-379-8999 to register.

 


10 Ways to Break Writer’s Block – Literally

June 17, 2011

Some flowers blossom only after a fire

“Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction.” – Pablo Picasso

Creation and destruction are opposite ends of the Transformation Continuum. You can’t create something without destroying something else. Create music, destroy silence. Create a garden, destroy weeds. Create a story, destroy all the other possible ways you could have told that story.

We’re trained to think that creativity is good and destruction is bad. So we keep trying to be more creative while repressing the destructive energy that comes with creation. This pattern of holding back causes creative stagnation, aka writer’s block, resistance, procrastination.

When we want to create something new, we have to be willing to destroy the old. Because we don’t want to admit our capacity for destruction, many of us stall out. We are afraid to be destructive. It’s ironic, but the biggest obstacle to our creativity is our deep desire to be creative.

The degree to which you deny your capacity for destruction is the degree to which you limit your capacity for creation.

Creatively Destructive Solutions

To break through this creative stagnation, you have to release that pent-up destruction energy. You need to literally break something. Or tear something up. Or cut, shred, burn, smash, demolish, flatten, dissolve, fracture, delete.

You need to consciously, intentionally destroy something. And you need to do this regularly.

In no particular order, here are 10 candidates for destruction:

  1. Delete emails
  2. Destroy clutter
  3. Smash glass or old vinyl record albums
  4. Weed, thin or prune your garden
  5. Eliminate office chaos (organize)
  6. Tear up old journals BUT ONLY IF you’re not emotionally attached
  7. Draw a picture of your Saboteur and shred it
  8. Kill bugs (the ones that are true pests, not the good ones)
  9. Cull the files in your cabinet
  10. Shred unneeded paperwork

What will you destroy today? Something tangible so that you can release pent-up destructive energy and expand your creative capacity… or your chance to write the way you want?


The Right to Write What’s Right for You

May 24, 2011

Identify the Opportunity and Desire

Take a few minutes to complete this sentence (on the page or screen or in your head): “I want to write…”

Did you write mainly about what content you want to write (e.g. a story about a rodeo clown, or poetry that moves people to tears, or an essay about an issue you’re passionate about)?

Or did you write mainly about the process of how you want to write (e.g. I want to write more regularly, or I want to write freely and easily, or I want to be more courageous with my writing)? If you wrote mainly about content, you might want to take a few more minutes to complete the “I want to write” sentence with process in mind and vice versa.

Identify the Gap

On a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being “I rarely write what or how I want” and 10 being “I always write what and how I want,” how closely does your writing reality match what you want as a writer? Have you claimed your right to write what and how you want?

Few writers get to write exactly the way they want all the time, but every writer should write what and how s/he wants at least part of the time. I would even go so far as to say most of the time.

Now on a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being “I rarely write about people, issues or things that I care deeply about” and 10 being “I always write about people, issues or things I care deeply about” how closely does your writing reality match your interests and sense of purpose? Have you claimed your right to write about what really matters to you?

Again, few writers get to write with passion and purpose all the time, but every writer should know what s/he is passionate about and have ways to bring that sense of purpose into her/his writing at least part of the time.

Identify the Causes

Unless you are one of the lucky few who are able to answer 10 to both questions, take a few minutes to complete this sentence: “I’m not writing what and how I want because…”

Identify the Solutions

If one of the reasons you’re not writing what and how you want is because you don’t know how to write, for example, you don’t know to:

  • write dialogue
  • turn a series of incidents into a comprehensive story
  • draft a query letter
  • transform vague memories into compelling memoir
  • draft and revise your poetry

this is a matter of skill. These are craft issues and I recommend you explore the array of writing craft classes available at Loft Literary Center (or similar organization if you live outside the Twin Cities, although it’s tough to find an organization as good as the Loft). I’m confident you will find a Loft class that will give you the information, practice and feedback you need to develop your craft whether you’re a beginner, intermediate or advanced writer and whether you’re writing fiction, creative nonfiction, poetry, children’s and young adult lit, plays and scripts, multigenre, or magazines, newspapers, blogs and travel.

If one of the reasons you’re not writing what and how you want is because you’re not sure how to:

  • relax and let your imagination play with characters and scenes
  • blend outlining and drafting into a cohesive writing experience
  • enter the writer’s trance (or creative flow) easily and naturally when you need to,

you’ll get opportunities to do that in the Entering the Flow class I’m teaching online. This class is a very relaxing way to spend time focused on your writing and will include Live Chats, discussion forums and recordings you can download and play to guide you in relaxing and entering the writer’s trance.

On the other hand, if the reasons you’re not writing aren’t a matter of how, but because:

  • you think you’re not disciplined enough
  • you’re too busy taking care of your kids, the house, your parents, your job, your dog
  • you don’t know if you can really give yourself permission
  • you don’t know how to get yourself to sit down and do it,

these are process issues. These are the kinds of problems we resolve in the Writing Habit class I’m teaching this summer on Tuesdays from 5 to 7 pm. The best way I know to get past obstacles like these is to have a writing habit so that you write just because that’s what you do.

Finally, if the process issues you face seems deeper, if:

  •  you’re experiencing what seems like irresolvable resistance
  • your Saboteur has a hold of you and won’t let go
  • you wonder what the heck is going on in your brain when you want to write but you can’t or won’t let yourself do that
  • you’re afraid to write
  • you just can’t seem to get past the initial inertia,

these are the kinds of process issues we address in the Around the Writer’s Block class I’ll be teaching from 1 to 3 pm on Thursday afternoons. This class will give you tools, support from other writers struggling with what you’re facing, and pragmatic practices that will get you past the resistance and back to writing what you want with joy and energy.

You have the right to write what’s right for you! Make the most of it!


Put Writing at the Center

May 12, 2011

In The Social Animal (which I highly recommend), David Brooks writes about the mindset a high school tennis player adopted when she stepped onto the court:

“Erica would not allow herself to have a conception of her opponent. She would not allow herself to think about line calls. Her performance would be judged by how the ball left her racquet, and nothing else was in her control. Her own personality was not at the center. Her talent wasn’t at the center. Her ego and self-worth were not at the center. The task was at the center.

“By putting the task at the center, Erica could quiet the conscious self. She could direct her attention away from her own qualities – her expectations, her nerve, her reputation – and she could lose herself in the game. She could prevent herself from thinking too much, which is death to peak performance. She could merge with the patterns of the craft. She could fall back on the many hours of practice when she had done the same thing over and over and laid down certain models in her mind. And when she did this, her self-control was just outstanding, and nothing could ruffle her.”

Put the Writing Task at the Center

This is what writers need to do. To paraphrase Brooks, the effective writer does not allow herself to think about her resistance, her Saboteur, the editors who have failed to see her talent, or anyone or anything else that opposes her writing. She does not allow herself to think about rejection letters and nasty or indifferent feedback. Her performance will be judged by how often her fingers meet the keyboard and how consistently she shows up to write, and nothing else is in her control. Her own personality is not at the center. Her talent isn’t at the center. Her ego and self-worth are not at the center. The writing task is at the center.

This is how writers can quiet the conscious self and all the inner chatter that is the origin of resistance. The better we direct our attention away from our own qualities – our expectations, nerves, reputation – the easier it is to lose ourselves in the creative flow. We can prevent ourselves from thinking too much about ourselves as writers or about the quality of any given day’s writing – which is death to flow performance.

The better we do this, the more fully we can merge with the patterns and rhythms of our craft. We can fall back on the habits we have practiced. (If you don’t have writing habits yet, what are you waiting for? Register for The Writing Habit class now.) When we do this, our self-control will be outstanding and no block, no Saboteur, no resistance of any kind will ruffle us.

Write Right Now!

Go write. Go put your writing at the center. Not your ego-self, not your fantasies, hopes and fears, not your own or anyone else’s opinions about whether the writing is any good or worth the effort. Just the practice of writing itself. Put your writing practice at the center for 10 or 15 minutes.

After you’ve done this and after you’ve rewarded yourself for doing it (hint, hint), I’d love to hear how this focusing just on the practice of writing worked for you.


Want to End Writer’s Block? Stop Feeding the Saboteur!

March 23, 2011

Do you hear the whisper of self-doubt or the roar of criticism whenever you even think about writing? Do you have a collection of excuses and reasons not to write? Do you have other behaviors and beliefs that undermine your writing?

That’s the Saboteur at work. But you don’t have to let the Saboteur run and ruin your life.

If my previous posts on the Saboteur have tweaked your interest and you’re eager to muzzle your Saboteur, please join me at the Rochester Writer’s Festival on April 9, 2011 where I’ll present “Please Don’t Feed the Saboteur.” You’ll learn how to recognize the Saboteur’s sneak attacks and how to respond so that you stop feeding the Saboteur and reclaim your creative energy and joy for your writing.

Just $69 gets you in the door for Mike Kalmbach’s keynote on The Three C’s of Writing and your choice of four different breakout sessions:

  • Please Don’t Feed the Saboteur (with Rosanne Bane)
  • The Perfect Pitch (with Frank Bures)
  • Write in a Flash (with Helen Chen)
  • Write About Yourself: A Generative Workshop (with Jennifer Koski)
  • Panel Discussion with Editors (with Ellington Miller-Starks and Steve Lange)
  • Write the Children’s Play That Theaters Are Looking For (with Joan Sween)
  • The Promises and Pitfalls of Social Media (with Brad Marsh and David Fingerman)
  • Five Secret Markers Found in Every Good Story (with Tom Overlie)

And lunch and after-festival networking! There’s also a morning-only and an afternoon-only option for $35 each.

Check out their website for session descriptions, speaker bios and registration. Rochester, Minnesota is a beautiful hour and a half drive from the Twin Cities. If you come, please let me know if this post influenced your decision to attend. Thanks!


Pay No Attention to that Writer’s Block Behind the Curtain

March 18, 2011

When the Wizard of Oz says “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain,” we know that’s exactly what Dorothy, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion and Tin Man should look at.

But paying attention to writer’s block and other forms of resistance is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you have to know what your writing resistance looks and feels like so you can respond appropriately. But on the other hand, there are dangers in paying too much attention to resistance.

Recognizing Resistance

You need to pay just enough attention to resistance to recognize it and take action so that it doesn’t continue to interfere with your writing.

Full-fledged writer’s block is easy to recognize (you want to write, sit down to write, but can’t), but resistance comes in many other forms including:

  • Procrastination (deciding you’ll write later today or tomorrow or later this week)
  • Postponing (deciding you’ll write as soon as you finish another big project)
  • Distraction (remembering 10 other things you simply must do before you write)
  • Perfectionism (refusing to move on until one small component is perfect)
  • Overscheduling (keeping yourself too busy to write)
  • Criticism and other forms of sabotage.

Notice what forms of resistance come up most often for you. Stay alert to how your resistance might change over time.

Responding to Resistance

The best response is to simply notice that you are or might be resisting your writing (“Hmm, my schedule is awfully full. Am I resisting my writing?”) It’s important to do this with equanimity, not judgment or blame.

Ask yourself what you might need to get back to writing the way you want to write. Consider what brings you joy, what gets you enthusiastic about writing, and give yourself what you need.

Then you simply show up. Honor your commitments to put in your 15 Magic Minutes of Product Time whether you feel resistant or not.

What Not to Do

We’ll take a look at the dangers of paying too much attention to resistance and what to not do in the next post, “Really! Pay No Attention to that Writer’s Block Behind the Curtain.”


Don’t Worry About Writer’s Block: You Have Wings!

March 8, 2011

"Big Moon Hug" painting used with permission from the artist Jerry Lee Kirk (To see more of Jerry's work, please visit www.jerrykirk.com)

Be like the bird that,

Pausing in her flight

Awhile on boughs too slight,

Feels them give way beneath her,

And yet sings,

Knowing she hath wings.

- Victor Hugo

It may be hard to believe when you’ve just gotten a rejection or your Saboteur is pushing you around or you’re struggling with writer’s block or some other form of resistance, but you have wings. Wings you might not even know you have.

How do you know you have wings? If you’re lucky, your allies remind you. If you’re especially lucky, you catch a glimpse of your winged shadow in the peripheral vision of your dreams and hopes. But even when your allies or your dreams remind you, and especially on the days when they don’t, you have to jump into the wind and hope.

How do you jump into the wind? You write today. You show up for your 15 Magic Minutes of Product Time. Maybe you draft something you’ve been thinking about. Maybe you freewrite to see what’s on your mind or what grabbed your attention today. Maybe you revise something you worked on some other day. Maybe you research. Maybe you map your ideas and plot possible writing topics for another day. Maybe you just sit there and wait. Maybe you move stuff around in what seems like an aimless waste of time. Doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you show up.

You don’t have to know how high you’ll jump today or if today’s jump will “add up to anything in the end” – just jump!

Every time you throw yourself into space propelled by trust in the Divine and your willingness to express has been given to you to share, your wings grow stronger, your heart sings louder and your spirit soars higher.


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